By: Leslie Cane: Most of the women who contact me want more than anything for their husband to change his mind about the separation or the divorce so that they can save their marriage and move on. This process is difficult enough, but it becomes a little harder when your husband begins to send you mixed signals or acts differently from one day to the next as far as the divorce is concerned. Many women tell me that their husbands will be very cold and matter-of-fact one day only to act almost loving and nostalgic the next.
I recently heard from a wife who was experiencing this problem and growing extremely frustrated. He told me that he intended to move out and file the divorce papers within the next few weeks. I was devastated and begged him to reconsider.
He insisted that our marriage was over and that a divorce was the only course of action that made any sense. He has yet to move out or file the papers. The other day, he tried to initiate sex. But the more loving he is to me, touch sample rate vs refresh rate more confused I get and the more I realize I desperately want him in my life. How do I know if he still wants a divorce?
Many of these options are possible. Ending your marriage and getting a divorce is an incredibly serious and potentially final decision. And, sometimes when the two of you begin to get along better or as he looks at you and still feels a bit of a spark or tug as his heart, he can begin to feel some doubts. So, it can sometimes be a bad idea to continuously question him or to insinuate that his indifference or confusion is frustrating you or causing you pain.
In this case, the wife herself admitted that they were making a lot of progress. They were getting along better and they were actually having some fun together again.
IS IT TOO LATE TO GET YOUR EX BACK?
I felt that rather than rocking the boat and demanding answers, she was likely better off just continuing on the same path because it seemed to be working. I suggested she remain upbeat and positive because this truly does often bring much better results. As to her concern about determining if her husband wanted a divorce or not, I strongly suspected that this would become clear soon enough and that rushing things could potentially push the resolution that she was most trying to avoid.
This did a lot of damage and I had a lot of catching up to do, but luckily, over time and by taking calculated baby stepsI was able to reestablish intimacy and bring back his love so that we were BOTH happy. Filed under: Uncategorized by admin. Both Offer Free Information. Jackson's Interesting, Free Video About. Getting Back Together. Click Here To Watch.What if we can make this work somehow?
What if I break up with him, then I realize he really was who I was meant to be with? I found myself in this very situation over the last few weeks. Lately, the soon-to-be ex-husband has been like, super sweet and nice.
He will TELL you this…out of his mouth, as many times as he has to, in order to get you back. I was watching Being Mary Jane a few weeks ago, and M. Having a man say these words is cool; but are his actions coinciding with what he said? Being nice is just that- being nice.
Her hobbies include reading, penning novels, blogging, and playing referee to her 2 children. View all posts by jlsapphire. Perfectly said. Thank you for confirming what I already suspected.
GOD bless you. Like Liked by 1 person. Those mixed signals are so hard to read. Like Like. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email.
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Like this: Like Loading Published by jlsapphire. Previous post WeekendReads. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment hereA fter a breakup, your ex may often send you confusing signals.
They may be very angry one day, then sweet and gentle the next. One day, your ex may want to see you. The next they may be throwing your possessions into a pile and setting fire to them! People can be crazy.
But stop to think about it for a moment. How did you feel right after you broke up with your ex? This is why keeping a diary can be helpful, even a short one, after a breakup. One day you may write how much you miss your ex, the next you may write how angry you are at them, or how much you hate them. Your ex is a human being going through a tough time. Your ex could even regret breaking up with you and could be hoping to get back together. And since you have no control at all over your ex, you must strictly observe this silent period yourself.
I suggest a full month. Your ex may send you plenty of mixed messages during this time. But you should not respond, especially to texts or phone messages or letters left or written in the heat of the moment. Even if your ex says something provocative or cruel, you ignore it.
Take the high road. Those angry or emotional messages are turds, and if you pick them up, you have only yourself to blame. Taking that month off will give you a chance to clear your head and your heart.
It will also give your ex a chance to do the same — to vent whatever rage they may be feeling, or sadness, or whatever.One moment your ex is hot and the next moment your ex is cold. One moment they are showing interest in you, and the next moment they act like a total stranger to you. Have you ever experienced this before? Why are they suddenly interested in you one moment and totally shut off the next? Are they interested in you or are they just trying to play mind games?
You get very fed up and you get confused with all these mixed signals that your ex is giving out. So, why are they doing all these? Some are harmful and some are harmless. The key is to identifying which is harmful and which is harmless.
Here are some mixed signals that are not related to relationships:. Does any of these resonate with you? So, why do people including yourself give off mixed signals every day? This is often used by magicians, tricksters, con-artists and pick-up artists. This is where you intentionally let your subject focus on certain areas so you can do something else in another area without your subject realizing it. For example, magicians like to turn his head towards his right hand and start talking about his right hand and moving it, while discreetly hiding or bringing an object out using his left hand.
This way all your attention will be directed towards his right hand. But had you focused on his left hand from the start, you would notice that he had quickly moved his hand to grab an object for the trick. Tricksters and Con-artists also give mixed signals to confuse their subjects. For example, they will come across as very sincere and honest to you.
Everything they say will make you think that they are really looking out for your best interest. But once you give them the money, you never hear from them again. Pick-up artists are also experts at this. They use mixed signals all the time to confuse women and easily get them to fall in love with them. So when the pick-up artist finally appears again, it would be so easy to be with the girl. In the pick-up artist scenario above, you can see that that it was also to get a deliberate outcome out of the girl.
The deliberate outcome was probably to sleep with the girl or possibly get into a relationship with her.Many women avoid being that direct and harsh because they fear an aggressive or even violent response from a man. I will never get back with you! The real way to get an ex woman back is to make her have feelings of romantic and sexual attraction for you again, based on how you now interact with her. I love you. Does he expect me to teach him?
For example: Some of the changes that a woman might want to see in her ex before she commits to the idea of getting back together with him, include:. Once you understand what your ex really wants you to change about yourself, you can then quickly make some adjustments and re-spark her feelings for you.
When that happens, her guard comes down and she becomes a lot more open about discussing the relationship with you. Another reason why your ex might be giving you mixed signals when you bring up the relationship is that…. If a guy has been blowing inside or around her pussy, she is going to feel an instinct to stick with him so he could help raise and provide for any potential offspring.
So, before your ex broke up with you, she most likely gave you plenty of time or warnings to change the things that were turning her off. I need you to be more supportive and understanding. Another example is if a woman feels that her man is displaying unmanly behavior too often e. When respect goes, the sexual attraction also begins to fade and eventually a woman will also disconnect from her feelings of love for him.
If the guy then tries to get her back without changing, she may then give him mixed signals when he brings up the relationship. So, I probably just have to let him go. In many cases like that, a guy will then begin to beg, plead and seek pity to hopefully get another chance with her, which will just turn her off even more. What are my weak points when it comes to maintaining her respect, attraction love for me?
She will want to give the relationship another chance, just as much as you do and you can then get her back much more easily. Another reason why your ex might give you mixed signals if you bring up the relationship is that….
Sometimes, a woman might find herself stuck between an ex who wants her back and the possibility of a new romance with another guy. The more you make her feel attracted to the new you, the less appealing the other guy seems and the faster she will become open to getting back together with you. Sometimes, a guy might convince himself that texting his ex about the relationship will be less threatening to her and because of that, she will be more open to giving him another chance.
When a guy tries to discuss the relationship via text, it reinforces her negative emotions about him e. Let me think about it. I need more time. Instead, focus on rebuilding her feelings of respect and attraction for the man that you are now, by getting her on a phone call right away. She can pick up on the changes based on how you talk, the tone of your voice, how you react to her, the confidence you have to joke around especially if she is being distant and your attitude towards her.
When she senses that you really have changed, she will begin to reconnect with her positive feelings for you e. She will act like she is completely turned off by things he says, or as though she is annoyed at his behavior all of a sudden, even though he is just being a normal, good guy. If she gives you a mixed signal e. Focus on making her have strong feelings for you again based on how you now interact with her i. If you do that, she will want the relationship too because her feelings will be back and she will want to explore it with you to see where it goes.
So, the next time she gives you mixed signals when you bring up the relationship, just make sure that you have sparked her feelings of attraction and then go ahead and give her a few days or up to a week of space. Don't waste time ignoring your ex or trying to convince her to give you another chance. This simple trick will change her mind and make her want you back todayDo you feel you are getting mixed signals from your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend?
One day your ex seems to act like they want to get back together but the next day your ex seems cold and distant again? Maybe it seems like your ex is playing games with you by their conflicting messages and their mixed signals. Their ex acts like they want to get back together one day and then seems to go back to wanting the breakup the next day. One client lamented to me that her ex boyfriend contacted her and said romantic things to her like he did when they were together but then ghosted her.
After a few questions I learned that she had overwhelmed him with texts and expressed the desire to define their relationship again as boyfriend and girlfriend. Do not rush to define the relationship again. Instead of putting a title on it again, let it happen in itself for a time without declaring a definition. That will prevent both of you from being hot and then cold giving mixed signals because you will have something to aspire to instead of feeling like the majority of it lies in your past.
When are you free to get coffee? Remember, it is key to let your ex come to you — even when it is clear that your ex wants to get back together. Over pursuing them only gives your ex confidence that they can take their time getting back together with you.I'm Getting Mixed Signals From My Ex - What Do I Do?
It tells them they can see other people and will experience no consequences from you or risk losing you. I hate to be the bearer of potentially bad news, but if you are getting mixed signals from your ex, it could be that your ex is trying to choose between you and someone else.
Think about it, if they broke up with you and started dating someone else fairly soon after, but now think they might want to come back to you, this most likely means they have compared you to the other person and you are winning despite the newness of the rebound potentially even limerence. The rebound person they might be with will feel them slipping away and will do the wrong things like begging, pleading, over-texting, showing jealousy, not giving them space, etc. Your ex could be testing you.
If, as I mentioned in point one, you are too eager and too quick to start right where the relationship left off, your ex becomes bored. Sometimes an ex, without consciously realizing it, wants to chase and win you back instead of too easily getting you back.
Now your ex might just wonder about the mixed signals coming from you.
6 Reasons That Prove Mixed Signals Do Not Exist And You're Just In Denial
Probably not, because if you are getting mixed signals from your ex, it means that they have initiated contact with you in some way. If you change your mind, let me know. Schedule a coaching call with me and I can help you get a better idea if you are reading into things or if your ex wants to get back together.
If you are getting mixed signals from your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, it is crucial that you do not communicate frustration about it.
By demanding an answer for their confusing actions, you show them that you are not moving on and that you are still strongly affected by what they do. If you suggest to them that you are hanging on their every word and action, hoping for a sign they might want you back, you relieve any concern or curiosity they had and look pretty pathetic — which is not attractive.
By confessing your confusion and frustration at the mixed signals of your ex, you also suggest that you are going to cause drama if they decide they want to get back together but decide to leave again. Because your ex probably realizes that if they change their mind and take you back, but then decide that they were right to leave in the first place, now they have to deal with your drama, stalking, whining, crying, pestering, awkwardness, etc.
To get help for your specific situation and a tailored map to getting your ex back, get more information on my Emergency Breakup Kit.Getting over a romantic relationship can be gut-wrenching and heartbreaking for most people, particularly if your ex shows the so-called "mixed" signals after the breakup.
Is your ex trying to be "friends" with you? Is it a good sign or a bad sign?
While I don't really recommend staying friends with your ex after a breakup, your ex's attempt to keep you in their life may actually be a good sign! There are plenty of other signals that you can use to gauge your ex's feelings too. Tips: If you can help it, try to minimize, if not completely cut off contact for at least 30 days if the breakup is still fresh. If you're way past the day period, then read on.
Is your ex suddenly trying to contact you out of the blue for no reason at all? This can be confusing, especially since it's been months or years after your ex rubbed it in your face that they want you out of their life, right? It's a completely different story, though, if they constantly contact you because you owe them something — hence, analyzing the nature of the conversation is just as important. Tips: Notice the frequency of their contact. How often your ex contacts you is a clear indication of how often you crossed your ex's mind.
It's not rocket science, but the more they contact you, then the more interested they are in worming their way back into your life. Keep it cool and don't get over-excited just yet. At this point, you'll want to keep the conversation light and friendly.
If they particularly show an interest in your life again and are asking personal questions, then take it as a huge sign. If your ex tells you how much they've changed, the lessons they've learned, or anything that gives them a boost in your eyes, then take this as a clear indication that they're trying to show you an attractive quality and is subconsciously trying to sell themselves to you.
However, if your ex is already arrogant to begin with, then you may disregard this sign. Most of all, don't act like you're putting them on a pedestal. If an ex girlfriend or boyfriend is interested, you'll notice them finding out more about your life than what you've already told them since the breakup. They may have learned the information from a friend or a friend of a friend or whomever, the bottom line is they've heard something about you and let you know that they know about it.
What happens next is completely up to you, but definitely keep in mind that jealousy is a key indication that your ex may be struggling with some regrets about the breakup and may be open to getting back together.
Just make sure that any attempts to use jealousy to win back your ex are done carefully and always remain "under the radar. I'm guessing, at this point, that you've already seen your ex exhibit at least one or two of these "signs," but even if they haven't, that may not necessarily mean that all hope of winning them back is lost. You can take this quiz to help determine whether or not there's still a shot at reconnecting with an ex. And one final reminder: while your ex will almost certainly be sending out 'signals' both consciously and unconsciously that give you an idea of their thoughts and how likely they are to give your relationship a second chance, not everything your ex says or does carries a deeper meaning.
He has 10 years of experience working with couples to repair and improve relationships. Sign in. Join YourTango Experts. Expert Blog. Photo: weheartit. Brad Browning. LoveSelf June 4, Don't be fooled! Click to view 15 images. Cassandra Rose. Read Later.